Domestic Violence Occurs In The LGBTQ Relationships Too

When people have a conversation about domestic violence in their community, it is often discussed as an issue between a man and a woman, where the man is most often the abuser, and the women is the victim. In a global context, a woman is more likely to be the victim in an abusive relationship. However, to frame all conversations on domestic violence as only occurring in heterosexual partnerships, and as men always being the offenders, leaves out the experiences of those who do not fit this model. The approaches used by abusive partners to secure dominance and control within a lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, transgender or queer (LGBTQ) relationship are the same that are found in heterosexual ones. From coercion and the use of intimidation, to stalking, isolation, and threatening to separate victims from their children – the tactics are identical.

This issue is compounded, though, by the social and political dynamics surrounding LGBTQ issues. The continued marginalization of the LGBTQ community means that the individuals who suffer from abuse are not having their stories heard, and do not have access to the resources that can assist them. Victims are often hesitant to report abuse to authorities for fear of having to publicly disclose their gender identity or sexual orientation, particularly in small communities where they might not feel safe doing so. Authorities and service providers also often lack the knowledge of how to deal with LGBTQ partner violence.

Gender is still viewed by many as occurring on a binary, where individuals are expected to fit into two strict models (male and female) of appearance, personality, and behavior. A more inclusive view sees gender occurring on a spectrum, where individuals can identify from many categories, including male, female, transgender, gender-diverse, or gender-nonconforming, to name a few. Regardless of their gender expression, any individual can suffer from physical or psychological trauma at the hands of their abusive partners, or be the one inflicting that harm.

The threat of being separated from one’s children in LGBTQ relationships may be more likely. Some states still do not allow same-sex partners to adopt children together, or to adopt their partner’s biological children.  Abusive partners can use this lack of legal rights to pressure the victim to stay in the relationship or to not seek help. Available resources which focus on survivors and violence prevention often contain mostly women’s experiences of abuse at the hands of their male partners. Although male and LGBTQ victims are sheltered at HCWC, there are also fewer emergency shelter services available for male and LGBTQ victims.

Intimate partner violence in the LGBTQ community is a real issue, and one that often does not get the platform it needs in the movement against domestic violence. We must band together to support all victims of abuse, and to understand the unique needs of each survivor and the unique dynamics of their relationship. Furthermore, we must expand the support provided to law enforcement, social services, and the community-at-large to better serve those within the LGBTQ community. Everyone deserves to have their stories heard, to have access to survivor resources, and to be in safe and healthy relationships.

Another way you can be proactive in taking a stand against domestic violence is to consider getting involved in YOUR community. HCWC is always seeking community volunteers to help provide support to victims of abuse. To learn details on volunteer opportunities, please sign up for our next volunteer orientation to be held Wednesday, October 21^st from 5:00 – 6:00 pm. To reserve your spot, please call HCWC at (512) 396-3404 or visit www.hcwc.org