Five Easy Steps for Proper Communication

BY: KARL SCHOENING, SMCN REPORTER

@K_Scho15

1) Be aware of your communication with yourself and others.

The first principle is pretty straightforward. Understand that you are almost constantly communicating with both yourself and others around you. Using this awareness you can now consciously take notice of what you are communicating.

This is where you ask yourself a couple questions based on perception: Who are you? Who are you when you present yourself to others? Notice your self-esteem levels. All of these factors play into how you communicate with others. Also note that communication goes beyond what you say, it’s also how you say it. Tone, facial expressions, gestures and other forms of nonverbal communication come into play when considering your perception of how you communicate.

Tip for this principle: Simply be in the moment. Think about all the little things while you communicate. It goes a long way to have control of what you communicate to yourself and others.

2) Effectively use and interpret verbal messages.

During communication we are constantly encoding and decoding messages. Have you ever wanted to take something back, not because you meant it, but because you know it came out the wrong way and it would definitely be misunderstood? How about hearing what someone said, only to later understand that you misinterpreted what that person meant during the conversation? This is where verbal skills come into play.

Words are used to try and create a shared meaning. On any side of a conversation we try to understand the other person while at the same time trying to think up a message to send back with your own created message. While verbal messages are shared in the same language there can sometimes be problems with differing uses of the language. For example, children might not quite understand sarcasm or use proper grammar so someone who is 30 and talking to a five-year old would likely need to change how they create their verbal messages and understand the child’s.

Tip for this principle: Be aware of the power behind words. Words can be inspiring and uplifting, but they can also bring people down or lead them to anger. Verbal communication can be a powerful tool to provoking emotions.

3) Effectively use and interpret nonverbal messages

Nonverbal communication is communication that is not written or spoken. The tone in which you say things, the gestures or facial expressions you make are all part of nonverbal communication. When coaches are trying to teach proper fundamentals in their sports and the athletes aren’t quite picking up on the lesson, the coach’s verbals might be encouraging, but his nonverbal communication can let you in on how the coach is really feeling. Things such as a frustrated tone from repeating instructions or a stare to the ground after another mistake from the athletes are signs that the coach is losing his patience.

Nonverbal communication can help or harm verbal messages. Sometimes there is no need for a verbal message behind nonverbal messages. A simple roll of the eyes and walking away from someone can be a clear cut signal that the person does not need to add verbal language to their gesture and get their intended point across. Meanwhile a lack of eye contact and a nodding of the head can be interpreted in different ways, positive and negative.

Tip for this principle: Sometimes nonverbal communication is very hard to control, but returning back to the first principle, be aware that you communicate nonverbally and do you best to use nonverbal communication to help your intended message.

4) Listen and respond thoughtfully to others

This principle sounds simple enough, but some times people are guilty of listening passively instead of actively. Our minds are constantly processing everything around us, sometimes our minds get distracted from the conversation we are in the middle of. Occasionally people will get caught passively listening and basically just wait for their turn to talk.

Actively listening doesn’t necessarily mean you have to hear every syllable the other person says, but it does require mental focus to listen to the speaker’s message and decode the verbal and nonverbal aspects of it in order to be an effective listener. From that decoding you can start to encode your message to show your understanding of the other person’s communication with you.

Tip for this principle: Responding to people after listening to their detailed comments is not too hard. Find interesting points they made and ask them to explain those points. If someone is boring you with their conversation, look for ways to enhance the communication process by slowly changing the topic while also paying attention to the person. Remember to try and find ways to communicate that you are listening to the other person or people talking.

5) Appropriately adapt messages to others

The final principle requires you to use the information from the first four principles, as well as your understanding of how to appropriately respond in the communication situation you are in. Always consider who all is in the conversation, the level of formality and informality as well as the culture of your surrounding area.

Tip for using this principle: Keep in mind the previous four principles and use that to adapt to any situation of communication. Your own focus in conversations can help you limit the mistakes you might make by finding the correct way to react to all forms of communication.

Communication can happen very fast, or in some cases very slow, but communication is constantly happening and unavoidable. Understanding the basics of communication can help improve your communication with yourself and other people.