How To Take The Stress Out Of Talking With Family And Friends During The Holidays

DALLAS — While the holidays are typically a time for gathering with family and close friends to eat, drink and be merry, unfortunately, the trend has become to have passionate arguments on the menu or just not attend.

“This time of year is meant to celebrate the special meanings of the season, but also the relationships we have with our family, friends and neighbors,” says Gerald Parsons, Chief International Director of Dallas-based Life Languages International. “However, it’s also a time to focus on being better listeners and communicators, not changing the other person’s views.”

1.  Learn to speak and listen, so more will hear and understand.

• Don’t interrupt, let the other person finish
• Ask if they are finished speaking
• Learn to say “Thank you for bringing that to my attention”
• Listen for key words “think” “feel” “do” these are indicators for crafting responses with the same words
• Ask permission to offer an opinion rather than forcing your opinion

2.  Establish a “No Offense Zone”

• Decide to not be offended or offend while together
• Remember the relationship is more important than the opinion
• Different opinions don’t have to result in rejection
• Don’t dilute your respect base on differences of opinion

3.   Build Relationship Equity

• Make positive word deposits
• Don’t make negative word withdrawals
• Don’t let unmet expectations become an emotional debt
• Offer compassion vs condemnation
• Don’t bring politics to the dinner table 
• Rules without relationship creates a NSF (non-sufficient friendship)
• The past is a great teacher but a terrible guest, so leave your baggage at the door    

4.   Give people the attention and respect they deserve

• Agree to set aside digital devices so you can focus on the people in the discussion

Life Languages International’s successful communications strategies are the vision of Fred and Anna Kendall. With the collaboration of health care professionals, business executives and first responders, the Kendalls have created the 7 Life Languages.

The company’s Kendall Life Languages Profile (KLLP) has been used in 185 countries by thousands of individuals, couples, families, businesses, corporations, government agencies and universities.