Living Outside The Lines – “Mirror, Mirror; What She Sees”

By definition, a mirror is something that gives a minutely faithful representation, image or idea of something else. 

by, Becky J Miller

Ever walk through one of those carnival exhibits with all the mirrors? You know the ones where mirrors make the viewer, long and lean, or short and squatty? The mirror where the reflection one sees is not reality? It’s not just carnival mirrors that can be deceptive; all mirrors can hide the truth, and sometimes, they outright lie. 

By definition, a mirror is something that gives a minutely faithful representation, image or idea of something else. Based on that definition, one might conclude that what we see does not always represent truth. 

Glancing in a mirror, I see an average face with green eyes, a freckled nose, small mouth and curly hair, but that is not really me, it’s merely a surface reflection. 

Upon closer inspection I discover wounds in various stages of healing. Some have faded pink scar tissue, some have scabs and some still ooze fresh blood.

Spotting me on the street, I might appear to be someone who is confident and resilient, but if you were to dig deeper, past the exterior, you would find someone who is flawed and full of shortcomings. You would find someone who has difficulty moving past a hurt or perceived wrong. You would find someone who can be judgmental. You would find someone who has little tolerance for people, and who has difficulty in social settings. You would find someone who never feels like she quite fits.

Were you to spend any time wandering around in my head, you would hear the constant ringing of what I am not, what I cannot do, where I do not measure up. You would see me compare myself to others, with all the wonderful talents and skills they have that I do not. You would hear my husband tell me, “God designed you, molded you and empowered you to be the woman He has called you to be… you are beautifully and wonderfully created…” and you would see me struggle to believe those words.

The mirror cannot show the turmoil and doubt that are my companions as I wonder about the next chapter of my life.  My children are grown now, my dream of completing a college education is a reality, I have the privilege of exercising my love of writing, not only in this column, but as a contributing author in a book of poems, and an official book reviewer for several publishing companies, and I conquered the London Marathon, so what challenges am I to chase now?  The pursuits that once consumed my time, no longer take precedence. What path do I take?  Where do I focus my energy? I have no answers. None. If only my mirror told me more than, “those shoes do not match that dress.”

This may surprise some, but I prefer to write poetry and hide my vulnerability behind carefully chosen prose, but some days, well, those pretty words elude me. Plus, poetry doesn’t really translate well into a lifestyle column, I mean, what good are pretty words if no one understands the meaning behind them?

If I look hard enough, past the superficial reflection and even past the insecurities swirling below the surface, I think perhaps I would hear gentle whispers telling me that I’m in a season of change; new town, new job, and new opportunities that eventually will unfold into a different normal. What the path looks like, I really don’t know, but gazing closely in the mirror, I can see both a pinch of wonder mixed with a dash of terror all hiding behind those green eyes. 

What about you? What lies does your mirror tell you? What truths are waiting to be discovered? Go ahead, have a look, what you find may surprise you.

Until Next Time,

Becky J Miller ~ “Warrior Princess”

Becky J Miller is a contributor and is exclusive to SM Corridor News. You can read more of Becky’s columns in Lifestyle.