Living Outside the Lines: Missing Mayberry

By, Becky J. Miller

Country sensation Rascal Flatts recorded a song entitled, “Mayberry”.   For anyone who has not heard the song, watch it here: https://youtu.be/MbSpWxO_Hbc.

The lyrics reflect a longing for a simpler time, akin to the Mayberry of Andy Griffith’s time, and while my yearning for “Mayberry” is not quite the same, during this holiday season, the songs resonates with me. 

The chorus begins, “I miss Mayberry, sitting on the porch drinking ice-cold cherry-Coke, where everything is black and white…” the Mayberry I miss is the family dynamic that changed suddenly and cannot be recovered.  The traditional Miller Family Thanksgiving this year was unlike any other in the history of family gatherings, and it broke my heart.

My three children are 25, 22 and 20, their cousins on my husband’s side, 26, 23 and 19. The six of them have always been close, the two oldest practically inseparable.  Last year at Christmas, my two oldest nieces brought home their new beau’s, and in less than a year’s time they’d both moved to opposite sides of the country; California and North Carolina, to be with their beloveds.  While I was sad at their departure, I had no idea how much it would hurt until the family gathered and they weren’t there.

When my husband separated from the Air Force in 1994, we moved back to Killeen, home of his family, and have spent every Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Cinco de Mayo, Fourth of July and tons of kids’ birthdays together ever since, until Thanksgiving 2016.  This year my two oldest nieces, Amanda and Ashley, my oldest son, Stephen, and my brother in law, Marc, were noticeably absent from the festivities. 

Gloria, my mother in law, passed away in 1997, but my father in law, determined to keep her memory alive, valiantly carried on all of the family traditions she started, until now.  Time has slowly taken its toll on him, and this year the strain was evident.  Things that always have been, were no longer and honestly, though I tried, my resolve failed me. Not only did I turn on the waterworks, but my break down created a trickle down effect on my sister in law as well. 

After her mom died, my sister in law, Terri, became the glue that held the family together.   However, the pain of her daughters’ departures this year, coupled with her brother’s sudden move to Oregon, created an almost unbearable burden.  She was left alone to carry on the traditions of the last twenty years.  My family pitched in as well as we could, but living two hours away makes it a bit difficult. 

Thanksgiving Day also know as, “Decorate Grandpa’s Christmas Tree Day” was not nearly as easy with three missing grandchildren, so I pitched in to help the remaining youngins; big mistake.   Gloria absolutely adored her grandchildren. Every Christmas she purchased new ornaments for each one of them to adorn her tree.  As my daughter and I picked through the box of decorations, I could not help but think of her and how much she has missed through the years.  My heart longed for her presence that day like it has not for many years.  All day I kept thinking, “I miss Mayberry” AKA I miss a time that is no more.

The sad truth is, time stands still for no one. Life brings change, and some of those changes are harder than others.  I believe most of us have our own Mayberry, a longing for something that is no more. 

As each of you navigate through your own nostalgia, may I offer yet another Rascal Flatts (you guessed, one of my favorite groups) tune, “My Wish”, with a chorus that goes like this, “My wish for you is that that life becomes all that you want it to, your dreams stay big, your worries stay small, you never need to carry more than you can hold…” https://youtu.be/zGB7IWklW3s

Until Next Time,

Becky J Miller

“Warrior Princess”