Living Outside The Lines: “She Can’t Dance”

Some would say dancing is as easy as following an eight-count beat to which I would answer, “Huh”? 

by, Becky j Miller

Solid Gold, debuting in 1980 and branded in the same genre as American Bandstand, showcased top songs & music videos. However, rather than basing the show’s production on Casey Kasem’s American Top 40 or Billboard’s Top 100, the show’s producers used Radio and Records, tracking airplay versus sales of albums and singles.

Originally a subset of the music television series, but eventually setting the show apart from any others like it were the “Solid Gold Dancers”. The dancers may have claimed notoriety for their revealing costumes and borderline risqué dance moves, but in the mind of this rhythm-less teen, they were mesmerizing

The flashy gold lame’ costumes and purposefully choreographed dance routines were unlike anything this naïve girl had ever observed. I was star struck, and for a time, desired more than anything to grow up and be a Solid Gold Dancer. Never mind that I couldn’t clap on beat much less move rhythmically to a song. When you’re a star struck 13 year old though, anything is possible.

Those dancers opened my eyes to a pop culture phenomenon that never diminished. The show ended in 1987, but my love for dancing continued to be fueled by movies such as 1984’s Footloose starring Kevin Bacon, 1987’s Dirty Dancing with Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze, 2000’s Centerstage with Amanda Schull and Zoe Saldana as well as 2001’s Save the Last Dance starring Julia Stiles and Sean Patrick Thomas. 

I may have owed all of the above titles on VHS and later purchased them on Blu-ray. #dontjudgeme Also among my favorite dancing movies, which sadly I do not own, are 2000’s Bring It On with Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dusku & Gabrielle Union, and yes, the movie may be about cheerleaders, but there’s a lot of dance choreography. Plus, there is 2006’s Step Up with Channing Tatum & Jenna Dewan.

My taste in dance movies can’t be all that ridiculous since all of my favorites made Cosmopolitan’s Top Sixteen Dance Movies of All Time, but no matter how you slice it, the fact remains; this girl has no rhythm! Some would say dancing is as easy as following an eight-count beat to which I would answer, “Huh”? 

Trust me, I’ve tried. A great friend of mine who was her high school’s mascot has got rhythm for days. She’s choreographed several dance routines that I managed to learn & perform with a group, but not in a manner that anyone would call skilled. 

Is it sad that I draw a level of comfort watching talented singers, actors and athletes competing on Dancing with the Stars who are stiff, awkward and really just can’t dance? What? Never heard the phrase misery loves company? No one else derives a twisted sense of pleasure in knowing they’re not the only person who sucks at something? Just me? Okay. 

With visions of impressing our friends with our spicy Salsa dancing or a passionate Tango, I’ve begged my husband to take ballroom dancing lessons, but he doesn’t like to dance with me because I always want to lead and well, I fail to see the problem. Square dancing, maybe??

At the tender age of 50, I should probably retire my dreams of growing up to be a Solid Gold Dancer, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try to learn belly dancing, does it??? If nothing else, it’s sure to provide an ample amount of comedy relief.

Until Next Time,

Becky J Miller

“Warrior Princess”

Becky J Miller is a contributor and is exclusive to SM Corridor News. You can read more of Becky’s columns in Lifestyle.