Living Outside The Lines: “Ugly Christmas Sweaters On Parade”

BY, BECKY J MILLER

In most circumstances ugly equals undesirable, but for reasons unbeknownst to this author, Ugly + Christmas Sweater = Crazy Trend! I honestly don’t get it, and yet….this holiday season I find myself the proud owner of one very cute ugly Christmas sweater. Confused, you say? Most definitely.

A few years ago my daughter says, “I really want an ugly Christmas sweater, you know, one with a cat or something.” Huh? Ugly Christmas sweater? What’s that? She explains, as I stand there scratching my head. You mean people part with their hard earned money for an article of clothing they find appalling? “Yes.” And the head scratching turns to head shaking. Walks away. Banishes thoughts of ugly Christmas sweaters from the brain.

Present day; the company Christmas party invitation lands on my desk; there’s going to be an Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest! What?? Pouting ensues. But, I wanted to wear a pretty party dress with sparkly heels. More pouting. Arrives home from work, shares the horrible news with spouse, he rejoices; “Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest, how fun!” Traitor.

After hemming and hawing for a several weeks, I finally come to the conclusion that my desire to participate in the festivities outweighs my complete lack of understanding for the fad. So, the quest for an appropriately ugly Christmas sweater begins. Ahhh, Target carries them, views price tag. Gasp!! $30 for an “ugly” sweater that I may wear only ONCE A YEAR??? Are you kidding me??? Double that amount for “his and hers.” For that sum, I could buy a really cute shirt from Buckle, a pair of Kendra Scott earrings, or definitely the wedge boots I’ve been eyeballing at Shi! Noooo!!!

Advertisements arrive via email; there are Dallas Cowboys and Clemson Tigers ugly Christmas sweaters, ooooo fun! Sees $65 price tag. Chokes. Deletes email. Throws laptop (not really, but briefly considers that option). Pouts again, but this time with sadness over the inability to find a reasonably priced ugly Christmas sweater. Finds some at walmart.com. Visits actual store, but alas! In true conspiracy theory, there are no ugly Christmas sweaters to be found. They are all in witness protection because they saw grandma get run over by a reindeer and are set to testify at the trial.

Thank you Jesus for good friends who willingly share their super-secret discoveries; Marshall’s has ugly Christmas sweaters, for cheap!  And this is just one of the reasons why I love Mandy!  She saved me.  An appropriately priced and absolutely adorable ugly Christmas sweater is procured for the event, and all is right in Becky Land once again. Exhales deeply.

I can’t wait to pair my sweater with denim jeggings, red cowboy boots, Christmas earrings and my blinking reindeer antlers. Did I mention there is a prize for the best ugly Christmas sweater???? Yep. And boy oh boy do I like to win!! Wish me luck!

Until Next Time,

Becky J Miller

“Warrior Princess”