Living Outside the Lines: You’re Pretty & I Like Your Shoes

By, Becky J Miller

Remember the show, “Kids Say the Darndest Things” hosted by Bill Cosby?  It aired from 1998 – 2000.  The hook behind the show was the, “out of the mouths of babes” cliché’ as Cosby talked to kids and asked their opinions on an assortment of topics such as religion, government and family. 

Clips of the series show children between the ages of 3 – 8 answering questions like,
“What is an American?”  Answer:  “Someone who lives in California.” Or “Suppose you were a pilot on a big airplane and all of the engines failed, what would you say? “Our Father which art in heaven…” What about this one, “What is the hardest thing about school for you?”  “Buttoning my pants”.  Seriously, for anyone having a tough day, watching some of these clips online is sure to cure whatever blues happen to be hanging around.

While it’s true, children are notorious for over-sharing, telling secrets Mom and Dad prefer to remain private and making side stitch inducing statements, they are also masters of honest observation.  Most young children have not learned the art of manipulation and flattery.  Nor are they adept at avoiding sensitive subjects, as their situational sensors are not yet developed.  Children don’t come equipped with adult filters, those happen gradually, often influenced by environmental circumstances.  

A few months ago, I dropped off a meal at the home of a co-worker who had recently given birth.  In addition to the newborn, she has two other daughters, none of whom I’d met before.  As we chatted in the living room, the oldest daughter looked over at me smiled and said, “You’re pretty, and I like your shoes.”  For those wondering, I was wearing black, gray and white leopard spotted Converse.  I smiled, told her ‘thank you’ and thought, “what a sweetheart.”

Later, following the end of her mother’s maternity leave, I was reminded of this beautiful child’s innocent gesture when I learned the depth from which it sprung.  You see, this little girl is adopted, rescued from a volatile, abusive home.  Yet, despite the trauma she’s endured in her short life, she still manages to find beauty in others, a feat that some adults have not mastered.

She wears glasses, in which she looks absolutely adorable, but some of her classmates call her unkind names because of the glasses.  Do you know how she responds?  Instead of becoming hard and callous, she works hard to find the good in others, thus the compliments given to me, a complete stranger.  Plus, she’s totally happy in her glasses; she tells her mommy that she likes the way she looks in them.

If an elementary school aged child, with legitimate reasons to be angry at the world, is not only comfortable in her own skin but looks for beauty in others, shame on me as a grown up mature adult who falls short in these same areas.  Kids do say the darndest things and sometimes I think it’s we adults who should be taking our cues from them instead of the other way around.

Personally, I am inspired to go on a treasure-seeking expedition, a quest to find the good in others rather than focusing so much on the negative.  It’ll be a challenge, I am sure, but I believe I can do it.  Will you join me?  Not sure where to start?  I don’t think my young friend would mind at all if we borrowed her line, “You’re pretty and I like your shoes.”

Until Next Time,

Becky J Miller

“Warrior Princess”