Living Outside The Lines: “Alpha Female; Setting The Record Straight”

It seems alpha females have a bad reputation.

by, Becky j Miller

According to urban dictionary an alpha female is a powerful, assertive woman.  Her confidence may be due to her good looks and/or superior intelligence.  Men desire her, and girls with low self-esteem hate her.  

Reading this definition, the word b!t#h sort of tumbles around in the brain. 

Come on ladies, smart, beautiful, confident women who leave a trail of drooling men make all of us feel a little less hmm, self-possessed? 

What happens though when someone bestows this undesirable label on an unsuspecting you?? #yikes

Recently I was asked to sit in on an interview.  The person in charge began describing the type of the qualities desired in the ideal candidate, ending the dialogue with this phrase, “I’m not looking for another Alpha Female like myself or Becky.”  #what?? 

Call me taken aback.  I had neither thought of myself an as alpha female nor considered I might have anything in common with the speaker.  In my mind at least, she and I seem so completely different.  #wellthen

Although I do not consider myself a person of superior intelligence, I am definitely resourceful.  So, using the Gospel of Google I researched alpha females. 

The first article I found did not resonate with me, at all.  It actually made me feel all dirty, like I needed a shower.  The next one from lifehack.org was much more relatable. http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-signs-you-are-alpha-woman.html

1. The spotlight is always on you
2. You live with purpose
3. You are not afraid of being alone
4. You understand the importance of balance
5. You embrace change
6. You know how to love
7. You are very much misunderstood
8. You are an uncontrollable risk taker
9. You know that you don’t know
10. You never give up

Oh. My. Gosh.  Who’s been reading my mail??  That is a federal offense, you know!!

1. I despise the spotlight, but somehow seem to find myself there frequently. 
2. Purpose is my unofficial middle name. Everything I do has a purpose, one I can easily explain were anyone to inquire.
3. Being alone doesn’t bother me; it’s actually kind of nice sometimes. 
4. Although as a former gymnast, the balance beam was my absolute worst apparatus, I do understand and try to exercise balance all aspects of my life.
5. Embrace change??  Not so much, but when it’s unavoidable I will confront it head on.  
6. I like to think I excel at showing love. 
7. Most definitely misunderstood, every. day. 
8. Risk taker?? Sort of, I guess.  I do love to scale walls, climb trees, and if I hadn’t previously broken my neck & didn’t fear re-injury, would jump out of a plane! 
9. I’ll be the first to admit when I don’t know, no attempting to BS my way out of something.  Honesty is always the best policy. 
10. Never give up? So me.  I’ve never met a wall I couldn’t climb over, burrow under, barrel through, or find a way around!  #neversurrender

So, perhaps I might be just a bit of an Alpha Female, only not in the over-confident, thinks she’s better than everyone, rules the room, uber sexy sort of way.  More in the “let’s get this done” kind of way.  I can totally own that perspective. 

It seems alpha females have a bad reputation.  Perhaps the moniker isn’t so bad after all.

Until Next Time,

Becky J Miller

“Warrior Princess”

Becky J Miller is a contributor and is exclusive to SM Corridor News. You can read more of Becky’s columns in Lifestyle.