I’d seen enough miracle births and miracle adoptions to know, without a doubt, that Mandy would get to be a Mommy. I did not know how or when, but I knew it would happen.
One magical day Mandy met a boy. It wasn’t long before Mandy’s heart was completely and irrevocably his. Soon Mandy was a beautiful blushing bride. Married life was blissful for the new Mr. & Mrs. Both their hearts overflowed with love. Expanding their little family to a party of three seemed a most logical step.
Babies appeared to happen for everyone else so naturally, not for Mandy. Joyful anticipation soon turned to sorrow. Everywhere she looked, the rounded bellies of expectant mothers only intensified Mandy’s feelings of failure. Her heart’s desire was to kiss the soft down of hair on her infant’s head, inhaling the newborn scent while holding him or her close.
When allowing nature to do its work failed, Mandy and her Mr. decided to seek professional help. The procedures were invasive and uncomfortable, but the hope of successful conception allowed Mandy to graciously endure. But as the disappointments mounted, Mandy’s hope began to wane.
By the time Mandy & I became good friends she’d entered that phase of reluctant acceptance, acknowledging her dreams of being a Mommy might never come to fruition. Initially I knew only that Mandy desired a child but not yet the extent of what she’d endured.
Having experienced my own struggles with infertility, but now a mom of three grown children, I made it my mission to not let Mandy get lost in her heartache. I’d seen enough miracle births and miracle adoptions to know, without a doubt, that Mandy would get to be a Mommy. I did not know how or when, but I knew it would happen.
Eventually Mandy and her Mr. decided to pursue adoption. Mandy spent months putting together an adoption portfolio, meeting with caseworkers, and abiding home interviews. Still nothing. Even I did not understand. From the outside looking in, I saw healthy, young, attractive, churchgoing, middle-class, likable people who would give a child a wonderful home.
One day Mandy shared the news that she and her Mr. had decided to allow medical science to have one more opportunity to make them parents. Although I’d prayed for Mandy to be a Mommy for almost as long as I’d known her, hearing this news caused me to redouble my efforts. I wanted nothing more than for Mandy to hear the news she’d waited practically her entire adult life to hear, “Congratulations, you are going to be a Mommy.”
And hear those words, she did!!! After years of heartbreak and tears, finally, finally, the moment she feared might never arrive was a reality. I was certain the baby would be a boy; I’d dreamed of Mandy surrounded by three children, the oldest a boy. Nonetheless, when she announced she was carrying a girl, I happily bought a dress with ruffled bloomers.
In November 2017 Little Miss Sutton made her anxiously anticipated appearance!! I got to meet the little bundle of joy about a month later. It was so exciting having lunch with Mandy and hearing all about her adventures as a new mom. It brought me such joy to laugh with her about diaper blowouts, spit up on freshly laundered clothes and the inability to accomplish even simple tasks like brushing one’s teeth.
Mandy has always been beautiful, but something about her being a Mommy magnifies that beauty. As I sat across from her, I could not help but marvel at how much Mandy endured to arrive at Destination Motherhood. If you ask her, I’m sure she’d agree that every single disappointment and all of the heartache were worth the reward of the tiny little human sleeping soundly in the carrier.
And you know what? Somehow, I don’t think Mandy’s story ends here. After all, in my dream, there were three…
Until Next Time,
Becky J Miller