Living Outside The Lines: “No Ragrets!”

By, Becky J Miller

2013’s “We’re the Millers” starring Jennifer Aniston, Jason Sudeikis, Emma Roberts & Ed Helms is a comedy of errors. 

One of my favorite and often quoted scenes is when Scotty P, a tatted up, motorcycle riding, carnival worker meets the fake parents of Emma Roberts’ character, Casey.  A conversation regarding the “No Ragrets” tattoo on his chest is nothing short of hilarious.

Scotty P is unwittingly one fry short of a happy meal, otherwise, he would’ve realized not only is his tattoo misspelled, but also he would’ve caught the conversational nuances indicating something was amiss.  Obliviousness aside, one has to respect his “creedo” of living life with “No Ragrets.”

Recently I had an opportunity to discuss the nine years I spent working for a former employer.  I was given the rare occasion to share some takeaways, both celebrations and frustrations. 

During the course of the conversation, I was asked if I had any regrets, anything I wish I had done differently.  I honestly could not think of any.

There were seasons during my tenure that were extremely difficult, and days I wanted to quit.  However, I chose not only to persevere, I chose to overcome.  Did I always feel appreciated? No.  Did I always feel completely supported? No.  Did I always feel valued? No.

Did I give 100% in spite of those conditions? Yes.  Did I build a legacy and leave something better for those who follow?  Yes. 

Did I experience professional and personal growth?  Yes.  Am I a better person today than I was the first time I darkened those doors? Absolutely.  Will the lessons I learned help transform my new work environment? I believe so.

So what’s the point here?  I’m so glad you asked.  No one can control all of the circumstances in which they find themselves, but anyone can control how they choose to respond within those circumstances. 

We can get angry and lash out at the unfairness of life, or we can fasten our seat belts, shift the gear into drive and work our way through!

Please do not misunderstand, I am not advocating for being a push over, sucking it up and quietly enduring all that comes your way.  Not. At. All.  I learned a very important term during my most recent tenure, “relational courage”.  Basically, it means being brave enough to speak up when you feel something is wrong or needs to change.

It is amazing the kind of results a calm, well-thought-out, rational approach can bring.  Many of the areas of responsibility in my job were not simply handed to me just because I was a good employee who worked hard; I had to ask for them. 

I felt I had earned them, but when they were not forthcoming, rather than stewing and becoming disgruntled, I swallowed two doses of relational courage and voiced my desires.

Did I always get my way? No, but I lost absolutely nothing by asking.  Very often my request, or some form of it, was granted.  Those wins strengthened my courage and made sharing my wishes easier the next time around.

Although my career may not have grown to the place I desired before I moved away, I cherish my time there and can say with utmost certainty that I left with absolutely, “No Ragrets!”

Until Next Time,

Becky J Miller

“Warrior Princess”

Becky J Miller is a contributor and is exclusive to SM Corridor News. You can read more of Becky’s columns in Lifestyle.