Living Outside The Lines: Empty Nest Overturned

As parents, we dedicate our lives to caring for our children, ensuring they grow up to be productive members of society. However, what few of us seem prepared to navigate are the years…

Becky J Miller | Exclusive to Corridor News

Remember the annoying playground chant, “Susie and Johnny sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, second comes marriage, then comes Junior in the baby carriage…”? We seem to learn early the expected course of life events, and few of us stray far from the path; grow up, get married, start a family. Some of us even daydream about our wedding day and what it will be like to have children.

Somehow, we intuitively understand babies require a lot of attention, toddlers are extremely adventuresome, and teenagers are moody. As parents, we dedicate our lives to caring for our children, ensuring they grow up to be productive members of society. However, what few of us seem prepared to navigate are the years after the children graduate from high school and enter adulthood.

No one I know was adequately prepared when their first child left home for college. The transition is difficult; this child you’ve loved, sheltered and nurtured for eighteen years is suddenly miles from home, it’s tough. When the second child leaves, the parent would expect to be a seasoned veteran, but when that child is the only daughter, although it seems sexist to admit, the worry level is magnified.

When the final child leaves home, doting parents may become depressed and unsure what to do with their lives. No longer are their twenty-four-hour taxi services necessary, there are no sporting events to attend, no dirty socks to wash, no real reason to even cook, after all, no one cares anymore if cereal and milk are the only groceries in the house.

Eventually, life does settle into a new norm, one that many parents find they rather enjoy. Suddenly the budget expands; without additional mouths to feed, annual back to school shopping, weekly allowances and all the other expenses dedicated to children, mom and dad begin to realize they can focus a bit more on themselves and each other.

One day, forgetting you’ve had no children at home for five years, and no young ones for twice that, you impulsively volunteer to keep your adorable nephews for a week. The stress begins to build long before their arrival, particularly if you are living in a partially finished house without a bathroom door or any type of kitchen. The only television is in your bedroom, there’s nowhere for them to sleep, and you’ve absolutely no idea how to feed or entertain them.

As their arrival day draws closer, several trips are made to the storage shed to unearth bedroom furniture and a dining room table, favors are called in for installation of a bathroom door, and finally, a new television complete with HDMI cable is purchased and set up. Housing? Check. Entertainment? Check.

Now to feed them…fortunately, they arrived the first night with full tummies. Breakfast the next morning was compliments of a local restaurant then it was a trip to the grocery store for provisions like Funyuns, grape squeeze jelly, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Danimals yogurt, Hi-C drink boxes and Lunchables; all items not found in the Miller household for YEARS!! Any items not consumed were sent home with them.

Oh, hygiene. We’d forgotten that elementary school-aged boys don’t necessarily like to brush their teeth, comb their hair or shower; they have to be reminded. Habits like daily bed making aren’t the norm either. It’s strange how quickly one can forget the requirements after only a few years removed from child rearing.

We’d also forgotten how different an eight-year-old is from an eleven-year-old. One is still an easily entertained child while the other, burgeoning on puberty requires a bit more stimulation. Keeping both ages content at an amusement park like Fiesta Texas where one prefers kiddie rides while one does not is definitely challenging, even when the children are good-natured and well behaved.

Our week as Uncle James and Aunt Becky was fun, rewarding, and for these empty nesters accustomed to caring for no one but themselves, exhausting! And we can’t wait to do it all over again next summer!!!

Until Next Time,
Becky J. Miller
“Warrior Princess”

Becky J Miller is a contributor and is exclusive to SM Corridor News. You can read more of Becky’s columns in Lifestyle.