Living Outside The Lines: “When 50 Is Comin’ Round The Mountain!”

It’s not like the sun will rise on August 4 and at that precise moment my hair will turn completely gray, my somewhat smooth skin will crease, I’ll lose all my teeth, and become incontinent.

by, Becky J Miller, exclusive to Corridor News

 

No matter how you slice it, hitting the half-century mark is a very big deal! Although my odometer reading doesn’t roll over 50 for another four months, the “OH MY GOSH, I’M GOING TO BE FIFTY!” bug suddenly struck with a vengeance. I mean, I may not be a math prodigy, but I do understand that 2017 (current year) – 1967 (year of my birth) = 50, so this birthday is no surprise, and yet, suddenly I find myself wanting to hang onto my 40’s for dear life.

Discussions of the impending birthday began the day I turned 49. The thought of turning 50 hasn’t bothered me, until now. One night this week, I turned off the lights, climbed under the covers, closed my eyes and just as I was drifting off to sleep, the realization of actually rounding the corner to 50 hit me, and in that moment, I decided that I really am not excited with the prospect.

Now, understanding that the converse of turning 50 is to cease having birthdays, I gladly choose to keep moving the calendar forward, but it is with some trepidation. The basis for my irrational discomfort eludes me, it’s not like the sun will rise on August 4 and at that precise moment my hair will turn completely gray, my somewhat smooth skin will crease, I’ll lose all my teeth, and become incontinent.

Perhaps my reservations are tied to my relocation further and further away from the fabled fountain of youth. From a distance, perhaps I could pass for a few years younger, but upon closer inspection one can easily spot the sprinkling of gray hairs on my head, the age spots marring my hands and arms, the suitcases and crow’s feet that decorate my eyes, and the faint leathering of skin overexposed to the sun.

None of the imperfections cause me significant concern on a regular basis, but the impending birthday brings with it the knowledge that these signs of aging will only increase with time. Herein lies the irony; I do not consider my parents or my grandparents old and decrepit, a fact I am certain they will be happy to hear. Even my great-grandmother who lived to be 102 was never old in my eyes, she was my granny and I loved her. I cherished time spent with her, and I still look with sadness at the vacant spot where her home once stood.

Maybe leaving my forties causes anxiety because it was in this decade that I really discovered myself. In the past ten years I graduated from college, the dream became reality, transformed from an intermittent exerciser to a competitive distance runner, found a passion for international missions, traveled to five different countries, became a published author and really made the connection to Becky. I spent a lot of years never really knowing me. Now that I’ve found myself, I actually kind of like me, and don’t want to lose this sense of who I am.

Rationally I know a birthday cannot negate any of the intangibles in my life, certainly my qualms are unmerited. Who knows, perhaps I will find that fifty-year old Becky has even more new life adventures waiting that forty-year old Becky experienced.

One thing I know with utmost certainty; both versions of her would welcome an exotic, tropical beach get away to celebrate the next part of her story. We’ll see what happens.

Until Next Time,

Becky ~ Warrior Princess 


Becky J Miller writes a bi-weekly column and is exclusive to SM Corridor News. You can read more of Becky’s columns in Lifestyle.

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top button