It’s like they have been waiting for an outlet for their bad candy juju to flow. Letting them get it out actually felt like a positive exercise.
By Clair Robins
*There could be over $2 Billion in Christmas candy sales this year. Christmas candy is more popular than ever. Just because it’s popular, doesn’t mean it’s all good. In fact, some of it is downright foul.
We surveyed over 13,000 customers who were all too happy to rank the worst Christmas candies ever. Their comments and rankings are below.
Be careful when you ask someone what the worst Christmas candy is. Strong opinions flow easily. Asking people what their favorite [whatever] does not elicit nearly the amount of passion as asking someone what the worst is. True fact.
When we asked our customers to give a couple optional words to explain their choice for the worst… Whoa, did the floodgates open. It’s like they have been waiting for an outlet for their bad candy juju to flow. Letting them get it out actually felt like a positive exercise. If you guys are reading this, I hope you felt a great weight lifted. And thank you for your replies.
And that is how we came to rank the worst Christmas candy. While doing a larger survey, we tacked this on as a final – again, optional – question, hoping to get something out of it. Over 13,000 customers responded.
There were a range of different candies mentioned. Since we had enough data, we narrowed it down into the top ten WORST Christmas candies.
Here are the top five worst Christmas candies.
#5 Chocolate-Covered Cherry Cordials
Sometimes a surprise in the middle is a good thing. This is not one of those times. Chocolate is good, yes. Cherries are good, of course. Why does this chocolate cherry cordial thing fail so miserably.
As with many things in life, it’s all in the execution. And what in the name of all that is holy is that nasty watery sugar liquid seeping out from the inside. It’s just weird, and gooey in a way that totally creeps me out.
In order to eat these without A) spilling nasty candy juice on yourself B) having to look at the inside of this vile creation and C) having anyone associate you with the nasty dripping chocolate thing you’re eating, you have to pop this whole thing in your mouth at once. Which I do not recommend.
#4 Peppermint Bark
This seem a little controversial. Peppermint bark was mentioned as one of the most popular candies in our recent state-by-state article. But it was also mentioned by a bunch of seriously passionate haters.
I tend to agree. Also, the bark thing has been way overdone. Walk into Trader Joe’s and it’s everywhere. By the way, a Peppermint Bark smoothie is just a peppermint smoothie, ok. There’s no more bark if you puree it.
The biggest thing for me is that it should be this crispy, sharp crunchy candy like the broken up pieces of toffee, but it’s typically not. It’s got no crunch, only a limp kind of give and then soft separation.
No snap …unless it’s cold. Which is cheating and not really realistic for serving to other people. “Hey we got Peppermint Bark ya’ll! Dig in! …to my freezer.” Plus white chocolate is the runt of the chocolate family. Dark sits slightly above milk, and both are looking way down at white.
As if we even need to address this one. Everyone knows Peeps = grody. The texture alone gives me the heeby geebies. Is anyone really under the delusion that these are actually marshmallows?
It’s like swallowing rubbery styrofoam. Then there’s the fact that it’s basically just pure concentrated sugar with a coating of sugar on the outside. Look, we’re CandyStore.com and it’s still a bit much. Dial it down Peeps. Ya creepy little devil chicks.
So obviously the Holiday Peeps are horrendous. The worst is the peppermint bark flavored one that is dipped in what is called chocolate but is more like brown candle wax.
They’ve got a cinnamon roll flavored one now as well as a Sugar Cookie flavored one…what? If you’re thinking about giving them a try, I’d instead run the other direction as fast as you cant until you’re out of breath. Then keep running.